You Changed My Life – Thank You

Thank You Friends

In a moment of contemplation, I thought about people I knew now residing in the spirit world. I asked myself how many of those people had changed my life in a positive way and, no doubt, changed the direction of my life.  As I gave it more thought, the long list soon decreased to just a few. The following five people were each responsible for ‘nudging’ me on my life path. I didn’t know it at the time, but looking back with my wise old head, I now appreciate how important each of them was. 

For the purpose of this exercise, I’m not going to include direct members of my family. The following people are outsiders who touched me deeply and meaningfully.

CATHERINE ARMAN

Catherine was a wonderful young lady, kind, attractive, and someone my parents believed was too good for me. She was my first meaningful girlfriend. We had been seeing each other for about five years and had planned to get engaged. I broke our relationship up, because, as a teenage boy, I was immature, wild and not a nice person. In the process, I broke her heart, and my parents found it hard to forgive me. Catherine remained a friend to my mum and dad for a while, perhaps hoping I would see sense and reunite with her.

I’ve never forgotten her. When my mother was alive, I once asked her if she’d ever heard any more from Catherine. At the time of asking Mum, it was probably 20 years since I’d last heard from Catherine.  Mum told me that Catherine had been killed in an accident in which an ambulance on the way to an emergency crashed into her car as she was crossing a junction.

I was shocked at hearing the news, and a few months later, during one of my long-distance courier assignments, I visited the churchyard where I believed she might have been laid to rest.

Catherine changed my life direction; though I was an immature teenager, I could never have appreciated by how much. Thank you for being there, Catherine.

KIT HOBDAY

I was fresh out of a gardening apprenticeship and looking for a job to put my new skills to good use. I was barely out of my teens and still wet behind my ears, so to speak. I applied for a job I saw advertised in a gardening magazine. The person was looking for a head gardener and chauffeur at his luxury home in Essex.

I applied for the job, travelled several hundred miles for the interview, and was informed I’d got the job a few days later.  My new boss lived in a luxury manor and was well known, though I hadn’t heard of him then. He was the British and world Yachting champion and renowned as a world class sailor.

Kit looked after me, with a new Land Rover Safari as my work vehicle and as an occasional chauffeur for his Rolls Royce. I rented a small cottage on his estate and had access to his swimming pool when he and his wife were away from home.

He put his trust in me. He believed in me, and that was something I wasn’t wise enough to appreciate. I ran out on him one night when my home sickness became too much. I didn’t have the courage to say goodbye, I just left overnight.

I never forgot that wonderful man. I got a taste of life in a posh mansion and got to be my own boss to a greater extent. Thank you Kit, and I’m sorry I let you down.

'UNCLE' PETER CALKIN

Uncle Peter was my dad’s lifelong friend. He was a little eccentric in many ways, yet kind and generous to me and my two siblings. Uncle Peter had a way of relating to us that was far from the more strict ways of our parents. We always felt safe when Uncle Peter was visiting on a Sunday.

Uncle Peter had a sense of humour that, to quote my mother’s phrase, could make a cat laugh. No matter what the atmosphere was in our home, no matter what trouble we were in, when Uncle Peter came to visit, calm and freedom came with him. 

Uncle Peter travelled around on his bike and he used to ride the 10 miles from his home to ours every week. He was a whistler and we could always hear him many roads away as he approached. 

I wish we’d had a chance to tell you how much we loved you and how much we missed you when you passed. I love you Uncle Peter.

LESLEY HARROD

Lesley was a lady who worked in the same office as me in Bournemouth. She was in charge of finances and a very clever lady. Although Lesley was good at her job and respected by the Directors, she had a relationship with everyone else in the office. 

I got on with her so well. She was like a mother to me and kept me in check. Lesley said it as it was and enjoyed a good laugh without losing the authority she had.

She owned a bad-tempered parrot and would often come in the office in the morning to reveal scratches she’d get from the bird. She was frustrated by the parrot and felt obliged to keep it, even though it was bad-tempered. 

I still have some of the parrot’s feathers that Lesley brought in for me once. They have survived the 20 years since she passed from secondary breast cancer.

I was shocked when Lesley declared to us all in the office that her cancer had returned, after she’d been given a clean bill of health. It was only a matter of weeks before she left this world. 

Lesley left a big hole in my life and I was so delighted when she popped into one of my meditations to say hello, a few months after she passed. Thank you Lesley for being a wonderful friend and work colleague.

'AUNTY' KATH CLITHEROE-HALL

Kath was Jane’s father’s sister. The relationship took time to form when I was first introduced to Jane’s family. I was a separated man who had recently lost my job due to BT redundancies, had children from my broken marriage, lived on my own in a flat in Weymouth, had no prospects and no money, and was often made to feel I wasn’t good enough for Jane by her mum. That’s true I suppose – I always did pull birds above my pay grade!!

When I first met Aunty Kath, she was noticeably non-judgemental, warm and friendly towards me. She was a devoted Christian, a Samaritan, and well-loved in her community. When she found out I was a medium, she was excited for me and never made a single comment against my pursuit. 

Several times over the years of knowing her, we had private conversations where we talked about ‘God’ and how each of us perceived him. Kath was a lady of her own mind and lived a life filled with peace and love for children, though she never had any of her own.

Jane and I were at her bedside when she passed into the spirit world. It was a peaceful event and a journey she was at ease making. I have heard from her since and was pleased to hear she is now working with children who pass over to the spirit world at a young age. Thank you, Aunty Kath, you are missed here.

FINALLY . . .

As I stated in the opening words, this tribute was intended for people who have had an impact on my life, outside of my immediate family. If I were to include family members, it would be akin to an Oscars ceremony, because every member of my family, and Jane’s for that matter, have had an impact on my life that helped reshape it.

My children, and now their children, my parents, aunts and uncles, have all shaped who I have become in some small or greater way.

Perhaps this would be a good exercise for all students of mediumship to do once in a while.

One Response

  1. Hi Trevor,
    I had heard you mention Catherine and Kit previously, but not the others. I think it is wonderful that you have had communication from some of these people after them passing to Spirit.
    Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts on the non family members that have changed your life. I must sit and reflect as I too am sure my list will be a long one.
    Thanks again. Ann x

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