introduction
One of the most daunting aspects of becoming a public or private medium is in regards to our natural self-preservation. We are all different, of course, some more confident than others, some naturally shy and introvert, others gregarious and up for anything! Some care about how they are seen by others, whilst some care less about that aspect.
These aspects are all energy based emotions that, without any question of doubt, will effect how we come across to our audience. If we appear nervous and lacking confidence, this will be reflected in the way the audience accepts us and what we say. This is particularly important in the role of being a communicator on behalf of the spirit world. Unless the actual message you forward is incredibly detailed and poignant, the recipient will be filled with reactions from your bodily emotions. An accurate communication may be less powerful due to the way it is being presented.
How we present ourselves for a reading or demonstration is far more important than often perceived. The way we stand, dress and speak, all have huge impacts on the words we share.
This subject is often defined as the stagecraft, and the good news is that it can be learnt. By combining simple techniques with practise, you can become confident and professional on stage or platform.
at the beginning
The year was 2001 and there was this guy that so wanted to be a good medium. But he wasn’t!
He had joined a circle to hopefully learn more about working with spirit, even though he had no experience and no known abilities that he was aware of at that time. He appeared naïve, ignorant and clueless to what he was supposed to do.
This young man was asked by the circle leader to stand up in front of the group of eight people, connect to the spirit world and ‘give off’ a message to someone in the group.
He stood up shaking with nervousness. His body temperature rose and he started to sweat. Over the coming minutes he grunted random words with no context, no relevance while praying the ground would open up and swallow him.
In those five minutes this man questioned what on earth he was putting himself through this for, why he’d even dared believe he could do this work and even why he thought he was good enough.
If you’ve not worked it out yet, that man was me! There I was at the age of 43 somehow believing I needed to be a medium! Yes, needed is the right word. I needed to do something I thought I could learn, even though I had no known inherent abilities.
Of course, I didn’t give up on myself. I just knew that there was much to learn and that I still might prove to be useless at this new found interest anyway. For several years, I was indeed effectively useless as a medium! But I knew that before I could give up on myself, I should stack all the odds in my favour. I needed to become a student, something by the way, I still am to this day.
I learnt early on that if I want to become good at this work, I would need to learn, to study, to practice, to remain humble and to ‘never arrive’. I observed other fine mediums at their work. I took copious notes, in the same fashion that the wonderful chef Rick Stein does when he visits other restaurant kitchens. I listened to their presentations and made note of particular phrases these mediums were using. I even started using them myself and this alone made a noticeable difference to my presentations.
lesson 1
How do you make a phrase that is not naturally yours, comfortable within your regular speech?
Practice, practice, practice until it’s second nature.
In my personal journals I have written word for word many phrases that I’ve heard other mediums use that make a difference to the message content. I’ve learnt from listening to tutors at The Arthur Findlay College when they’ve demonstrated and I’ve studied well-know named mediums such as Colin Fry, Tony Stockwell, John Edward, James Van Praagh, and many more.
I’ve learnt key phrases they use in their presentations that make all the difference to the message. Here’s an example of a phrase I might have once used in a reading environment.
“ I got a spirit with me – I think it’s a man”.
Those few words contains several presentational errors.
- First and most importantly, the people we communicate with in the spirit world should always be referred to as such, not as spirits. Of course they live there, and are in a spirit form, but they are primarily people and want to be thought of as so.
- The use of the words, ‘I think’ sends the impression that I don’t know. I should do, I’m a medium!
- More to the point, I shouldn’t be thinking. I’m a vessel in this connection.
- Finally, the gender of a person in spirit may not be obvious to me at first, so in suggesting that I ‘think’ it’s a man, I’m ruling out many of the possible people that might accept the message. I should wait until I’m sure it’s a man or woman with me.
Here’s a better way of stating that opening statement.
“ I’m aware of the presence of a person with me at this moment.”
Boom – what a difference, and I’ve only just started! Everyone is still alert and excited to know more.
Without getting into the mechanics of this too much, before starting a delivery, it is much better to spend a little longer establishing the connect and finding out a few more things to mention. Silence is good and often shows the audience you are in control.
Here’s another of my bad examples.
“ I got a spirit with me – I think it’s a man who died ten years ago and was a dad to 4 children.”
If I was a fantastic medium, the key parts of that information might be correct. But what if I’m out by a couple of years? Or if the dad was father but not a dad as such? Or that he was never a dad? Or if it was actually a woman I was connected to. I’ve given myself so many ways I could fail by presenting everything in that fashion. Here’s an alternative way that information could have been presented.
“ I’m aware of the presence of a person in spirit with me at this moment. They left this world a while ago now. There is mention of four children.”
Notice that I’ve still not committed to the person’s gender and I’ve suggested their passing was some time ago. I’ve introduced the children, but not in a way that rules out every other option than them only being a parent. They might not be, and I was just adding that extra information myself from the picture I built in my own mind.
Can you see the subtle difference that we’ve made to my presentation and how that helps me and you in the role as a medium?
Being a vague medium is little better than a medium that gets everything wrong! It therefore makes sense to make sure that what you say, you can be sure of in the moment. The good example above, delivers two key pieces of potential evidence that have much openness in their meaning, in a professional statement, whereas the bad example commits you to being wrong on at least one piece, even if the other elements transpires to be accurate.
It is easy to understand that the words we speak can take on different meanings if phrased with a little more thought and in with an open ended approach.
Mediums are often taught by their peers not to ask questions of the recipient. In the context it is meant, this is a good rule to abide by. But there are acceptable ways to ask questions, as part of the delivery of a message. When done correctly, asking questions is often a positive aspect of your mediumship. Learning how and when to deliver a question is important.
“I’ve got a spirit man with me. Is this your Dad?”
Again, I’ve worded that all wrong. Can you work out why, before you read on?
Let me rephrase the line.
“ The person with me now has a parental energy about them. Would you understand that?”
There are so many options to the latter statement. Perhaps this man wasn’t a parent himself but was seen as one to the recipient. It’s a good question to ask too. The recipient might simply respond with a yes. Now it’s left to you to ask the person in spirit why he is being perceived as a parent.
Of course, time might be saved if the recipient declares it to be their dad or mum. That will only strengthen the energy in the communication link and allow other information to be received as your connection becomes stronger.
These are not deceptive tricks or ways to avoid you becoming more connected. These are simple rewording phrases that allow you to build your confidence and your strength of connection. Nobody can fake good mediumship and delivering messages properly is part of being a good medium.
Here are 6 phrases worth learning:
- I sense, or I’m aware of the presence of . . .
- Would you understand . . .
- Why do I want to say . . .
- Why am I seeing . . .
- This person makes me feel . . .
- Why are they showing me . . .
Here are 5 phrases to avoid ever using:
- Is this person . . .
- Can I give you . . .
- Did this person . . .
- This spirit is . . .
- They’ve been dead for, or they died of . . .
lesson 1 summary
We’ve learnt that the words we use as mediums are important. We know that understanding the phrasing of what we say changes the meaning in a positive way and helps build our connection strength in any situation where we’re representing a connect to the spirit world.
TIPS TO GET YOU STARTED
- Think, before you speak, of the best ways to deliver the statement.
- Listen to other reputed mediums’ delivery and learn from them.
- Practice when alone until the new phrases flow freely from you.
As already mentioned above, this is not deception, nor manipulation. It is part and parcel of a good medium’s working tools, and as your voice is the most important aspect, it will pay you well to learn to use the correct words in your work. Learning what to say, when to say it, what not to say and why, are important lessons that when learnt, define a good medium from a mediocre one.
