I feel I should make it clear that I am not a qualified tutor of mediumship. I have many years behind me as a student of this work with spirit, and I have acquired much knowledge and experience along the way. Everything you read in this article is mainly based on my opinions. If you read anything that is contrary to something you have previously learned, consider carefully which feels better for you.
I was a late starter, finding this way of life at 42. I wasn’t aware of spirit or their existence until I first chose to explore mediumship, mainly out of curiosity. I have learned much along the way, some of which was wrong. Unlearning is part of the process.
THE TWO LEARNING PASSAGES
It is common amongst mediums to discuss the two learning passages required to become a medium. These are development and unfoldment. The development passage includes practical learning, understanding, techniques, meditation & focus, and the other classroom ingredients. This process prepares the medium and serves as a valuable step to becoming a medium, learning to pass on communications from the world of spirit. From good development, an unfoldment will occur.
The unfoldment passage is mainly a natural process where the mind, body and spirit align for this work. The medium’s sensitivity changes, along with their faith, beliefs, and natural abilities. Combined with healthy development, the medium adjusts their expectations, understanding, and openness while strengthening their relationship with their higher self. Unfoldment is a personal passage and is not something that can be taught. With the right balance of these two passages, the medium learns the ability to recognise and understand subtle signs from the other side, as naturally as if meeting someone in the street. The two passages work together, hand-in-hand, and every worthy medium will have developed and unfolded in varying degrees according to the individual’s needs.
GIFTED CHILDHOOD MEDIUMS & EGOS
A few mediums are born with an enhanced gift and, through their life circumstances, can be working with the spirit world from a very young age. This gives them much more experience and ability from their early years to carry into adulthood. However, from my experience, these mediums are far rarer than some would imagine.
Claiming to be a childhood medium is often conceived as a badge of honour, and many who claim to have been connecting with spirit from the first few years of their life are embellishing the absolute truth. It’s a claim that is hard to dispute or even prove as accurate. It is my opinion, however, that such claims make little difference.
I have witnessed a few of these mediums that claim to have been speaking with spirit since their childhood. They are now in adulthood with their lifetime of development and unfoldment behind them. Yet, often, they are no better than some late-starting mediums. So take such claims with a pinch of salt rather than attaching them as a reason you might be struggling with your mediumship.
This issue arises from some mediums having elevated egos and a desire to be well-liked and well-known. It’s worth reminding ourselves that the objective of the spirit communicators is to be heard by those living in the earth-cycle of life. Egos, fame and fortune don’t matter to them so long as the message of love and hope is heard.
THE TWO PASSAGES - WHERE ALL PROBLEMS STEM BACK TO
Most problems one encounters with their mediumship can be connected to their development or unfoldment, sometimes both. There is no set amount of time to become a competent medium. For some, it might be weeks, while for others, it may take years and still not succeed.
The most common query amongst mediums of all levels of competence is usually, “Why can I not sense spirit around me?” Let me address that with some suggestions and possible answers.
BROADEN YOUR EXPECTATIONS: Some students believe that the spirit communicator is in some way going to make their presence be physically felt. Though this can happen frequently, the reason why the medium isn’t experiencing their presence is often because they’ve not attuned their senses enough. More development of this ability is needed. Regular exercises designed to heighten the senses can create a better environment for them and their spirit connection. You see, development is working with unfoldment again!
Understand that awareness of the presence of spirit is often an inward sense rather than an outward and physical one. Some mediums claim they can see the presence of spirit. However, as it is usually only them who witness it, the sight is considered subjective, within their mind’s eye, and not physically real in the room.
Clairvoyance, [clear seeing] as it is called, is rare among mediums. We all have many ways of recognising spirit, and by combining them all, we increase the methods available for the spirit communicator to use.
The two most common senses mediums use are claircognizance [clear knowing] and clairsentience [clear sense of awareness]. Using claircognizance, the medium knows what they know because of their highly attuned intuition. Though not always, a medium that knows a piece of information given to them from the spirit world may not otherwise be aware of the presence of spirit around them at that moment. The need to physically feel the presence of spirit is not relevant. With clairsentience, the medium has gut instincts, and inward body sensations picked up like an antenna picking up waves and vibrations.
The medium solely waiting to sense the presence of a person in spirit might be waiting a long time and, therefore, may not be aware of the communication coming from other sources, such as intuition, hearing, aromas, memories, and many different ways. Mediums need to work with all senses and not rely on just one or two.
Expecting to feel the physical presence of the people working with you in the spirit world is unrealistic. Often, the only reason mediums lean heavily on wanting the secure physical feeling of a spirit presence is because they are compensating for their own lack of faith in the processes, their abilities, and their trust in spirit. More development is needed.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE EXAMPLE
I was ten years into working with spirit before I became aware of a physical presence. It was during a time when I wanted to quit this work. My faith was at its lowest, and I didn’t believe any spirit people were around me. I sat in meditation for a while, then lost the plot! I swore angrily at the spirit world, telling them exactly what I thought about this nonsense. I was angry beyond belief. I was about to quit this so-called journey because I didn’t believe there was real evidence of spirit working with me. I felt relieved for getting that anger out of my system and was resolved that I was finally walking away from this!
I stayed seated in the mediation, already feeling better that I’d made a decision I believed was correct for me. I was relaxed at last. Suddenly, I felt a firm touch on my arm. Immediately, I opened my eyes, expecting to see a fly, spider, or something physical. There was nothing, but I had felt it, as real as real. In my mind, I heard the words, “I am here, working with you. I will always be here.”
That happened over fifteen years ago, and there have only been a handful of occasions since that I’ve experienced a physical presence as strong as that first one. The spirit person present in those moments knew me well enough to know that I would indeed stop my development and unfoldment, and walk away from it. You could suggest I forced their hand, though that was not my intention.
YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE : When a budding medium is asked to stand in front of people and relay communications from the other side, immediate pressure falls upon them. They become nervous, shaking all over, hot and sweaty. Their mind becomes a tangle of useless thoughts and, more often than not, they create the worst conditions for their mediumship. This combination of events creates a negative vibe and, unless controlled quickly, will damage any chance of a communication taking place. Some nervous energy is acceptable, but it must never be allowed to take control of you.
A medium’s lack of confidence in their abilities is, again, the main reason this happens. Imagine, instead, the following scenario:
You are invited to do a short presentation at a local group where you know most of the people. Your presentation can be on any topic you are passionate about. It might be about how you make the best Yorkshire puddings, how you clean stains off clothes, how you are passionate about fishing, photography or poetry. It might be about how you enjoy gardening, wine tasting or your best-ever holiday. You choose the topic you know most about and want to share with others.
The day comes for the presentation. Are you nervous? Yes, probably a little. Does it bother you? No, because you want to give the presentation. You’re passionate about what it is you’re going to talk about. Your confidence would be high, though, of course, you might be a little worried about making mistakes or getting it across well. That’s ok, perfectly natural expectations. There again, you might be super-excited about the chance. An opportunity for you to talk about something you’re excited about. Perhaps you can share your passion in the hope of inspiring others.
The night comes, and you give your presentation. Your enthusiasm will be present for all to witness. Your confidence will grow as you settle into the presentation. Your audience will enjoy it and you’ll feel the vibe that it’s going well. Some people present might ask you one or two questions. Because it is a topic you know about, you’ll answer the questions with ease. At the end of the evening, the event organiser thanks you and may even invite you back again.
If you were invited to another group with your presentation, would it be even better next time? Absolutely. You’ve learned from your first presentation and will now iron out some issues you might have originally encountered. The second presentation would, therefore, be better, more polished, with fewer nerves, and much more confidence. You might even start to like doing it!
The main point of the scenario suggests that when you know your topic well enough, you can talk about it. The knowledge you have brings with it a confident energy which dampens the nervous energy.
Now, substitute the chosen topic with your mediumship. What has changed? Your faith in your spirit connection? Your lack of confidence? Your trust in your topic? How do you overcome those self-inflicted obstacles? More development, leading to more unfoldment, backed up with practicing in smaller like-minded groups.
But let’s be real. If the thought of making any presentation to an audience frightens you, and you don’t think you could ever pull it off, even with a scripted and rehearsed presentation, then perhaps public mediumship is not for you at this time. That doesn’t mean you need to quit your mediumship. It means you need more development and therefore more unfoldment. What’s the shame in that? One-on-one mediums are in demand. Perhaps private readings are the best option for you. Nobody is forcing you to do public presentations if you don’t want to. And it is most certainly not the only way to further your abilities.
Let us imagine you are about to demonstrate your mediumship abilities, whether it’s a big group of people or in a one-on-one situation. How do you control your emotional state? Here are some pointers to help you.
- Close your eyes and in your mind talk to your spirit world.
Tell them what you are about to do and ask that they draw close to you for the occasion.
Ask that they help with clear messages that you will relay.
If it helps,
PREPARATION IS KEY: The number one reason many new and sometimes experienced mediums struggle in a demonstration is their lack of preparation. Preparation often requires a routine you’re familiar with before stepping onto the platform. Some people refer to these preparation steps as having a ritual. That’s fine. If it works for you, do it!
Here is a typical summary of the routine I used to use. I say used to, because over the years, my experience and confidence, my relationship with the spirit world, and my development & unfoldment, has changed my need to follow this as rigidly as I once had to. But, I still do occasionally include some, or all, of the following;
- On the day of a demonstration, I make sure I know where I’m going, how long it takes to get there, what time I need to leave home, and I round up the things I need to take.
- I prepare my attire and choose an appropriate shirt, jacket, shoes, trousers and black socks. (I want the audience looking at my face, not my telly-tubby pattern socks!)
- I make sure my mp3 player is charged and contains my choice of music for my final moments in silence at the venue.
- If I have to make a philosophical address in the demonstration, I consider what I might include, and if necessary, I make a few bullet point notes.
Some old-school tutors of mediumship might suggest that eating a big meal before a demonstration is not advisable. I somewhat agree with that, though hunger doesn’t help mediumship either. Some will suggest that the clothes you wear isn’t important. I disagree. Let’s dress for success and professionally present ourselves. It doesn’t have to be a suit, or the latest fashion statement. It just needs to clean, and semi-smart. Jeans, t-shirts, low-cut tops, very short skirts, trainers, and the like are not the best choice.
- I arrive at the venue at least 30 minutes before the demonstration begins. An hour early is good if the venue is open.
- I ask if a private room is available and I avoid looking at the people there for the demonstration. Most importantly, I avoid having conversations with anyone other than the organisers.
- When I’m seated in the private room, I put my headphones on and play my favourite music tracks.
- I sit in the power controlling my thoughts with a prayer and requests to the spirit team. The length of time I do this varies according to what I think I need.
When you arrive at a venue late, or at the last minute, your energy is already flustered. Arriving earlier is never a bad thing. Arriving late is. Not all venues might offer a private room back stage or away from the audience, so improvise instead. Go sit in your car alone, or find a space to be as undisturbed as possible. Some mediums prefer fast-paced music, such as dance and pop music for their headphones. Others, like me, prefer meditation music. There is no right or wrong choice. Whatever works for you is what matters. My private prayer time usually starts with reciting the Lord’s Prayer in my mind, paying attention to every word. The prayer often continues after in conversation style with the spirit world and those working with me.
“My friends and team working with me from your world, I ask that you draw closer to me for this demonstration this day. I ask that you help me be a clear and pure vessel for your communications. I ask that you use whatever faculties you need for me to understand your messages best. I ask that the work we do together only be for the greater good and with the presence of love and healing. Thank you.”
STARTING YOUR DEMONSTRATION : There are no set rules as to how you should begin your mediumship. Every tutor has their methods, and every medium has to find what works best for them. Some people like to start with a little light humour followed with an explanation of how their mediumship works. Others might take a few seconds to compose themselves mentally. The important thing is to take control of your emotions swiftly, before they control you. Close your eyes, if you have to and repeat the request to the spirit team. Make a decision to start, and do so with confidence, and if possible, a happy face!
“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Are we all ready to hear from our friends in the spirit world? Is there anyone here that’s never seen a medium before? I look quite normal don’t I? How many of you all here tonight have at least one family member or friend now living in the spirit world? Raise your hands. Wow, everyone. Well, shall we find out which of them I can connect with this evening and reassure you they are continuing to live on in their new realm?”
TIPS TO ASSIST : The above example is just one of many ways you might choose to open your demostration. Find what works for you and hone it over time. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to learn an opening statement. The more you practice, the more it will become natural and flow enthusiastically. Remember that, when you demonstrate, you have the power and the control, so use it to work with you.
Silence is a wonderful tool. Not every moment has to be filled with filler words, nonsense or repetitive stuff. A moment spent for composure and adjusting focus is good.
Learning to look at a person as if looking through them is one way to keep your focus inwardly without being distracted by the person.
Avoid telling people to NOT feed the medium. This can have the opposite effect and silence them altogether. Instead, do it subtly, such as with a hand-held raised in a stop gesture, for example.
Always remain aware of all of your senses and what sensations you are experiencing. Any of them may be critical evidence from a spirit communicator.
Imagine you’re wearing a secret earpiece. What is heard in it is more important than what you hear in the room.
Use taking a sip of water as a moment to recompose yourself and strengthen your inward focus.
Relay everything you are thinking is coming from the spirit world. Perhaps broaden it at first, depending on your confidence. “why am I thinking of Scotland?” You can ask spirit for more information after the recipient understands the statement.
Always seek evidence. Avoid being too generic with everything and ask your spirit team to be more precise.
Keep your individual readings short. You have many other people in the room, and in the world of spirit, waiting.
After completing your demonstration, consider what you might have done better, acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on. That demonstration is now history and the next one is ahead of you.
DEVELOPMENT & UNFOLDMENT
From my experience and often personal struggles, I’ve realised that students’ reasons for not being able to connect to the spirit world originate from one or both of the two passages. The problems arise from living in a society where everything is expected overnight. Mediumship does not work that way. It takes time, often a lot of it. It takes patience, often more than we have. It takes dedication, no matter what issues arise. It takes determination without setting timeframes for it. It takes a realisation that you are unique, and others cannot teach you one set of rules that work for you. It takes you to find that out for yourself.
Your relationship with the spirit world is the most important fuel for your development and unfoldment. Building that partnership may take time. Through consistent development and, therefore, unfoldment, you will become better.
If you feel your current circle isn’t helping – move on. If you feel your tutors aren’t working to help you, find new ones. If you feel you need more development, do more workshops or save and invest in the big college courses. If you feel your unfoldment isn’t happening fast enough, spend more time sitting in the power, for increasingly longer lengths of time.
You see, only you have the answers.And if you still can’t find them, refer to your development or unfoldment!
