Being nervous before giving a reading in a public or private environment is quite natural for any medium. Nerves come with the role of a medium, and there is a huge responsibility hanging on the medium’s shoulders.
The type of nervousness varies between people, though. A medium lacking confidence will be nervous because of their lack of belief in their abilities. Like any presentation one might need to do, whether a best man speech, a PowerPoint presentation for the boss, or a talk at the local community hall, nervousness can be at least contained if the preparation is done in advance and you’re confident with your abilities.
Delivering messages in mediumship is a presentation – we call it a demonstration. Practising and honing our abilities is an important ingredient for improving our presentation. Every demonstration is an opportunity to learn and improve at what we do.
Here are 12 tips that will help you present mediumship better. The list is in no particular order of importance and is only a few of the many suggestions one might consider. Take one or two tips from the list and include them in your next reading, whether in a one-on-one situation or on the platform at your local church.
◽ALWAYS FIND TIME TO SIT IN THE POWER
Meditating and sitting in silence are important for establishing the relationship between our outer conscious self and our inner spirit. Always remember that our own spirit resides in the spirit world as well as this world as part of us. Meditation allows us to improve sensitivities and gives the rest of the spirit world a platform to learn about us. It is always a good thing to prepare properly for a reading by sitting for a short while ‘in the power’ of spirit.
◽ DON’T ALLOW YOUR NERVOUSNESS TO BRING IN DOUBTS
There are no perfect mediums on this side of life. Everyone is learning, even if they don’t believe they are. Never doubt your abilities because you’re nervous. You’re a medium, and you decide to do the best you can every time while remaining humble and learning. You are simply a conduit, an empty vessel for the messages from the other side. If you set your personal expectations too high, you set yourself up for a fall. Remember, it is what it is.
◽ ESTABLISH YOUR CONNECTION WITH THE SPIRIT
Many mediums will rush into starting their reading without spending a few moments establishing their connection. Spend a few minutes before you begin the reading in silent prayer/conversation with your spirit team. Talk to them in your mind about what you’re expecting from them and how they should help. Don’t be rushed on this part of your reading, it is an important opening rule. You may have already learnt ways to detect the presence of spirit. This might be a tingling on a particular part of your body, hairs on your neck etc. Allow the time for this connection to build. Meanwhile, you could consider small talk with the recipient, though your focus should remain on establishing the connection.
◽ IGNORE YOUR RECIPIENT AS MUCH AS SENSIBLY POSSIBLE
Your role as a medium is to relay messages from the other side to the recipient, so listening to that connection is more important than observing the recipient for body clues. Often, people like to test the medium by deliberately not giving clues or confirming information early in a reading. It is quite common for the recipient to wait until the very end of a reading before telling you what was valid in the information. Your job is to listen to the spirit connection, not watch the recipient for clues.
◽ STAY WITH THE CONNECTION THROUGHOUT THE READING
You’ve taken the time to establish that connection with your spirit team, so stay connected throughout the reading. Don’t break that fragile connection just to share a story or a joke. The mediums you’ll witness doing this are often highly experienced and able to reconnect easily. In their years of mediumship demonstrations, they have learned that ability. If you lack confidence, stay connected to the spirit world throughout the reading.
◽ ESTABLISH THE PERSON IN SPIRIT AND MOVE ON TO THE MESSAGE
Once you have established who you are connected with from the spirit world and your recipient confirms it, don’t waste time describing them for longer than necessary. They want to communicate, not be described down to the size of their feet! This is ‘incidental’ information that they might share with you or you observe, but it should not distract you from the communication. Also, the more you describe someone, the more you risk the recipient disagreeing with you.
For example, during the reading, you might notice the spirit communicator has a birthmark on their neck. In a passing remark, you could suggest to your recipient, “Why are they showing me a birthmark on their neck? Does that mean anything to you?” Too many mediums spend too much time describing the connection rather than relaying the messages a person wants to share.
◽ KEEP TALKING NOT THINKING
The moment a medium stops talking, they are focused on their thinking. The less experienced medium is in danger of ‘thinking’ what to say next from their own mind rather than from the communicator in spirit. Keep talking, even if you’re repeating what has already been established. While you’re talking, you leave the tap open for that flow of messages. Stop talking and you risk your own conscious mind taking over.
There are lots of little techniques you can establish to eliminate or reduce this happening. Here are three, though there are many subtle things you can do to reduce silent ‘thinking’ times.
Only allow yourself a few seconds of silence and become more aware of your silence.
Repeat the last correct message slowly before continuing with the new message.
Talk aloud to the person in spirit.
◽ ASK MORE QUESTIONS OF YOUR SPIRIT CONNECTION
Sometimes this is referred to as ‘going deeper’ with the connection. Quoting from an example given by the late Glyn Edwards, if the person in spirit says they were an engineer when alive, ask what sort of engineer, where were they working, and what was it they did precisely. Your message will become richer and deeper if you establish they worked as a wheeltapper in a railway yard for example, rather than broadly speaking an engineer.
Asking questions of the person in spirit is important but don’t waste time waiting for answers that may not come immediately. It might be later in the communication that they fill in the gaps.
◽ REPORT EVERYTHING, NO MATTER HOW TRIVIAL YOU THINK IT IS
More often than you imagine, the tiny details cement a reading for the recipient. The phrasing of the words, the little remarks, the way the person in spirit stands with you, smiles, brushes their hair, or acts—all of these tiny details may mean something special to the recipient. It is not your job to decide which details to give. Observe and relay.
◽ BE RESPONSIBLE WITH YOUR WORDS
Just because your person in spirit might use swear words or profanities in their conversation with you, doesn’t mean you should speak with the same words. Instead, you could report that they are using colourful language with you. You should always represent this work with the spirit world using the highest standards of professionalism. You should always remain a good ambassador in your actions and your words. In this situation, you should reword, but not filter.
◽ AVOID SLIPPING INTO COUNSELLING MODE
The person in spirit may offer some small piece of advice to the recipient, but be very careful not to start counselling the recipient. This is not mediumship and is often embarrassing for the recipient, especially in a public arena. It is not your role, or that of the person in spirit, to advise the recipient of personal matters in a manner that comes across as if you are giving them counsel.
◽ NAMES ARE LESS IMPORTANT THAN YOU MIGHT THINK
It would be wonderful if you could give a name that transpires to be accurate but don’t get hung up on it. Many mediums successfully give names, while others don’t. A wrong name can often lead to the recipient doubting your connection is for them or is not the person they thought it was.
If you lack confidence in your mediumship, leave the names until later in the reading. When you say the name, use open phrasing such as, “ Would you understand the name Mary in connection with this person?” Let the recipient respond with how that name is related. If you start a reading with. “I’ve got Mary with me …” and the recipient is unaware of anyone in spirit with that name, you’ve created a block for yourself. Of course, an experienced medium may do that at times because they are aware of the strength of their connection and know their abilities.
Never let names, numbers, addresses, etc, bother you when you’re getting established as a medium. In fact, a medium that starts quoting addresses, postcodes, and telephone numbers is often a reason for suspicion to creep in.
◽ DO READINGS FREE
If you want to hone your abilities, be prepared to do readings for nothing. Although some churches offer a small fee to cover travel expenses, be prepared to do a demonstration for free. Even in the privacy of your home, offer readings to families and friends for nothing. Explain that you’re practising your mediumship and would love to offer a reading for nothing to help you improve. You’ll be surprised at how many people will be delighted to sit for you and some may offer you a small fee at the end of it.
You should not have wanted to become a medium for financial reasons. If you did, you’d be deeply disappointed. Fees may come over time with experience, and that is perfectly healthy. But money should never be your main reason.
That was just a dozen tips and techniques you might adapt to your mediumship over time. If any suggestions don’t fit well with you, forget them for now and move on. Equally, if anything suggested here differs from what your mentor or regular learning group taught you, check with them first. The tips above are based on the author’s personal experience as a medium and may vary in beliefs from others.
