|| This summary written on Saturday 28th September 2024
One of the personal issues I know I have suffered with in the past is a complex of how others see me.
Many years ago, I realised that what I thought of myself didn’t match how others saw me. I saw myself as a failure of no value and not a nice person. Perhaps this was exasperated by the many wrongs I did as a young and immature teenager. My parents indeed showed little care or concern about my mental health. I had a low self-esteem and to counter that, I became the joking person in a crowd, the one wanting to make everyone laugh. It was a kind of deflection, I suppose.
Things changed for me at the turn of this century when I was at the lowest point of my life. I was divorced, redundant from work, and had few prospects for anything ahead. And then I met my partner, Jane, on the internet. She was, and still is, the most beautiful person I have ever known—beautiful in more than looks alone. She took to me, and I’ve never known why!
Jane changed how I saw myself. If I could attract someone as beautiful as her, I must have something going for me. Slowly, over time, my self-esteem has improved, and nowadays, I think I’m an all-right chap. But it does take time, and someone loving and caring enough to support you.
In this session, Candy tells of her life on earth and how she struggled with her ‘little voice’, as she refers to it. She denies it being a self-esteem issue though, instead laying the blame entirely on the little voice.
POST SCRIPT
This speaker is immediately relatable and sounds like the type of person I could like. I know of a lady medium this side of life who is similarly beautiful, yet struggles with her self-esteem.
THE WFSIW SESSION
You've done well with your discipline over the past few weeks. Today you have a lady speaker and I'm pleased to be allowed to announce her. She goes by the name Candy.
Thank you. Hello Trevor, and of course hello to all the readers of my words in the future. Yes I was fortunate to be given the name Candy when I was living on earth. It was a wonderful name and everyone loved it. I suppose I was a bit of a good-looker too. I was spoilt rotten by my Dad. He used to take me everywhere.
He's with me here now of course. I've decided to keep my long hair too. It's part of who I was and who I am, which is what I wanted to talk to you about today, your identity.
How do you see yourself through the eyes of another person? Yes you can do that easily. How do you think others identify you? Is it something that concerns you? Can you look yourself open-eyed in a mirror and declare you love the person looking back?
Yes, that is harder for some than others to do. Even though people told me I was pretty when I was young, I still had some problems looking at myself. I thought I was fat or spotty, or I had a big nose and ugly hands. All of those things bothered me. Yet I knew everyone else liked me, especially the boys! Some people think this is connected with your self-esteem, but that is not always so.
I've always believed that it was because of that little voice in my head. If someone told me I looked nice, I would hear the little voice telling me they were wrong. I used to think the voice was cruel to me.
What does your little voice say to you? Does it tell you how good you are? Does it make you feel happy or sad? Is that little voice your friend, or your enemy?
I suppose some might still suggest this is part of your self-esteem at work, but I don't see it that way. If my voice inside my head was good to me when I was on earth, I would not have even considered self-esteem as an issue. And even though the voice was often annoying, nobody ever told me I had an issue with my self-esteem. That's because I. don't think I did have.
When I came to this world, I began to realise that the inner voice was of my own making, and it was wrong, every single time. I learned that most people are uncomfortable with what they see in the mirror, in the same way that most people don't like the sound of their own voice either. Mind you, I can read your mind and you're right! A few people do apparently like the sound of their own voice, a bit too much, if truth be known.
Anyway, here's what I want you to do now. Make that inner voice tell you how nice you are and how kind you are. And how special a person you are. And how unique you are. And how much many other people love you. Go on. Try it now. Listen to it. And then thank it for the kind words. Tell the voice that that is all you ever want to hear from now onwards.
It works for me, so I know it can work for you too. I know you're special, and so does your God.
Thank you for letting me speak today. My name is Candy and you're a great person to know.
Goodbye.
MY AFTERTHOUGHTS TODAY
Saturday 28th September 2024
132 days after the session was transcribed
Sometimes I think these messages are meant for me personally. And then I remind myself, they are! This session from Candy was one I totally relate to.
I think I understand how Candy has separated the little voice from her self-esteem. Most of us might believe one is related to the other, but I think I can see why they’re not always.
I often think that when I get the other side, I’m going to have some sharp words with my inner voice. But of course, I’ll then learn what the relationship actually is.
If you are brave enough to do Candy’s recommended exercise, I wonder if you did it with ease, suggesting your self-esteem is good. Or did you struggle with it, suggesting the opposite.
"When I came to this world, I began to realise that the inner voice was of my own making, and it was wrong, every single time."