Where Can I Find The Answers

At the time, and after raising many similar ‘logical’ questions, for many different mediumship tutors, I began to feel that the truth was they didn’t know the answers. Of course, that got me to thinking that these so-called experts in this field I was keen to learn about, were not very knowledgeable. You see, as far as my thinking went, a logical question deserves a logical answer. But those types of answers to my questions rarely came about. Instead I felt I was being ‘palmed off‘ with weak answers that raised more questions than were being asked.

The problem was that I only knew one frame of thinking. Black and white, you might say. I was too scientific in my approach to this new study. It wasn’t enough to be told that in mental mediumship, what I was exploring at that time, the so-called spirit person would leave the communication in my mind. How? How is that even possible? The answers were often something like, “It just is the way it works.” Really? But how does it work? How do I know when it works? It’s fair to assume that my first ten years of studying this topic, often left me confused and with even more questions that nobody seemed to be able to answer. Frustration was an emotion I was being forced to accept, and I didn’t want to.

So there I was, a naive student wanting to learn how to become a medium, with a little bit of faith and a lot of hope that it must be possible to. I mean, John Edward had said so in one of his ‘Crossing Over’ shows on telly, and he was surely the best medium in the world! When asked by a member of his audiences if anyone could become a medium, he answered, without hesitation, yes. And that was my new mission established. To learn to become a medium! Just like that!

I recall in my growing up years, hearing on television during troubled striking worker times, that unions and governments were having talks about having talks. “What?“, I used to think, “Why don’t they just have talks? Why do they need to have talks about having talks? What’s the point of that?” Bear with me, this is related to this topic, sort of! Nowadays I understand what that meant, and why it was an important step. It’s all about the starting point. In the same way, becoming a medium is all about our individual starting points. Our frame of references, our current thinking methods, our current understanding of the world, our philosophical views based on our life to that point. And learning to decide to move away from it, expanding, developing, unfolding.

I had forty years of life behind me when I was shown this new way of life by the spirit world. I had all my life’s experiences as I had lived them. I only knew what I had learnt for myself, and that was not a rich source of material, believe me! Yes, I could become a medium, (and I did eventually!), but to do so was going to mean I would have to rebuild the foundation that my life was sitting on. I was going to have to learn how to learn more broadly than I was used to. I was going to have to see and understand things from a different viewpoint than the narrow one I had done in my life to that point.

One such question that nobody seemed to be able to give a satisfactory answer to was simple. “Why is God all about love? Why only love? Who decided that?” Okay, so that is three questions! None the less, every tutor, every expert I asked, every book I read, failed to give me a satisfactory answer that fitted within the framework of my old way of thinking. Wait to the end for my interpretation of an answer!

The problem, I realised many years later, was that it wasn’t in the answers I received, it was because my frame of mind was not expanded, grown, developed, open enough to be able to accept the potential answers. My early reading material was wrong as well. I was reading books like, “The Beginners Guide To Becoming A Psychic“, and hundreds more along the same theme. Technique books, you might call them. That type of reading material was merely fitting in the established cavities of my mind and not expanding it, or broadening my philosophy.

Yes, reading Doris Stokes books were useful. Yes, Colin Fry’s, Mia Dolan’s, Derek Acorah’s and Tony Stockwell’s books were interesting and worthy of reading. But they weren’t changing my foundational way of thinking. To be honest, I soon thought these authors were obviously very gifted people and I should never expect to anywhere near as good as them. Their books were filled with unbelievable reports of incidents with the spirit world that would be better filed under ‘fiction‘ in my small mind!

So, how on earth was I going to become a decent enough medium that I would be able to declare it with confidence? How was I going to become more rounded in my ways of thinking? How was I going to become a person that could answer questions thrown at me by ordinary people, without buckling under the self-inflicted pressure of needing to give a ‘logical’ answer everytime? Well, now we come to the meat of this article!

Let’s start with one of my famous analogies! I wonder, how many of us know how to drive a car. How many of us believe we could drive a car with our eyes shut, we’re that good (not literally)? All of us of course. But how many of us knows how the fuel is produced, or the turbo actually works, or the injectors work, or the tyres don’t wear out easily? How many of us even know what happens, mechanically speaking, when we start the engine? Truth is, we don’t need to know. It just works. It just happens after our actions to drive. It just is, right?

Therein lies the first stage of becoming a rounded medium. Accepting that it just is, it just happens, it works. Accepting without question, without doubt, without needing to know the ins and outs of every little detail of the action. I said this is the first stage and it is. Behind the scenes, as the saying goes, we will develop and unfold over time. Our minds will expand with richer and a more exciting philosophical outlook on life itself. How? By stretching our thinking through education, through wanting to become more rounded, by accepting that some questions cannot, nor might ever give an answer that fills the logical voids of our mind. Accept that things, “just are’.

I’ve always openly admitted that I’m about as slow a learner as one could imagine. I need to be told something a thousand times before it sinks in. As I write this, I’m learning to speak Spanish. Don’t even ask me how hard I’m finding that! I didn’t take my school years seriously and missed out on getting a decent foundational education. My fault though, although that argument only goes so far. I am how I am and it’s possible that no matter who my parents had been, or what my circumstances were, I may have struggled anyway. Each of us has our own unique way of retaining what we’re taught. I’m digressing a little.

I’ve been fortunate in my development and unfoldment for mediumship to have shared time with some of the country’s best tutors of mediumship. One or two of them remain what I would call good friends. They didn’t always give me the answers I was seeking. Nor did they ‘blow smoke up my behind‘ about my own unfolding abilities. They just kept doing what they do best, teaching others and, to some extent, humouring me along the way!

You see, what cannot be taught by anyone, not even the finest tutors, is unfoldment of the inner potential. The expansion of the mind. The richness and importance of the philosophy. The changing aspects and outlooks of the individual through exposure and time. How much time? For me, a long time! I recall when I first got to know one of my mentors, Mr Mark Stone. He’s a wonderful teacher, full of knowledge and very approachable. He’s one tutor that I still hold huge respect for, and a little part within me aspires to have his knowledge. But he could not teach what is unteachable, he could only shine the light on the immediate path ahead of me. Expanding my mind was up to me. Changing my perspective was up to me. Learning to become more rounded, as I’ve called it several times already, was on me. Becoming more educated and accepting was my issue to deal with.

And believe me, it took a lot of years for me to get to a stage where those annoying questions didn’t matter, or weren’t important, or I could offer an explanation I believed was acceptable as the current truth. Mark always used to say that each of has to do a lot of learning, and equally a lot of unlearning. Our ways have got us to where we are. If we want to change direction or have a broader outlook, we’re going to have to undertake both learning, and unlearning! This cannot be rushed, nor taught by others. It cannot fit on a timeframe, nor be scheduled. It cannot happen overnight, nor ever does. 

When I was teaching a few students at my Sanctuary, occasionally, I would get what I thought was a special student. Someone that seemed to be ready to become a great medium. So, what did I do with them? I made them read the same stuff I had read, and do the same things I had done. I was often disappointed by their lack of progress though. I questioned what I was doing with them and often got frustrated that they weren’t moving at the pace I wanted them to. I had forgotten, or to be blunt, was ignorant of the fact that they were individuals that would have to find their own path to unfoldment and development. I had strayed from the basics that most tutors stick with, and I was, unintentionally, trying to create clones of my unfoldment, without realising that this was a futile desire. Everyone is individual and their path through mediumship is a result of who they are and who they desire to become.

Those awkward unanswered questions we started this article with? Have I now got all the answers, twenty five plus years later? Absolutely not. But I can offer my opinions, as most tutors better than me do. I can suggest an alternative viewpoint. Am I correct every time? I doubt that very much! But perhaps, in you reading my opinioned answers to the questions, it might help in some small way for you to expand your mind. Let me finish with a review of the opening questions and offer my opinions, as of the time of writing this. 

“Why is God all about love? Why only love? Who decided that?“

Here’s what I think, my answer, though remember, very much my opinon.

God, or the Divine, being primarily about love and the greater good, is a key ingredient in the foundations of many religions, and philosophical and spiritual traditions. Break the question down further, God doesn’t choose to be loving, but is love itself. God therefore represents love by being love in the purest form. God can therefore be nothing else. Not evil, not hating, not jealous, not an order for each of us to follow, nothing else. God is love. The word God derives it’s roots from the word ‘Good’. Many religions have adapted that for the basis of their foundations. 

Evil, or anything other than love, therefore, is not a part of who God represents. Evil is for the biggest part, a human invention of judging a perceived good and bad thing. Life must surely reflect the way God is, whether you believe in him or not. Humans need to base their existence on a morally sound foundation. Love is that foundation and that is what God is. This way of living offers a framework for hope, purpose, and love. What is the alternative? God didn’t choose to be pure love, nor did anyone make that choice on his behalf. God simply is pure love. It’s worth remembering that whenever we talk about God with ‘him’ or ‘her’, we are mistakingly creating a false narrative that God is somebody.

That’s my answer, after twenty five years of study, of unfolding, of developing, of expanding my mind, of learning to become more philosophically minded. Guess what, I doubt I’m correct, but it works for me at this moment in my unfoldment!

To finish, I always preach to students of this wonderful subject that keeping a journal for logging their development and unfoldment is essential. However, few ever bother! That is a sad matter for them to deal with. But if they did, nowadays I would suggest that those awkward questions, such as the one I’ve just broached, that remain unanswered, should be written on the back pages and considered as ‘seeking answers‘. The questions should be revisited some time later, maybe five years, or longer. One day in that future, the student and author of the question will read one of those entries and be able to offer an answer based on their own new discoveries, new unfoldment and new acquired education. That is the best answers they will ever receive. Or . . . 

If you can’t wait, or can’t find a suitable answer to a question that’s floating around in your mind, here’s one suggestion. Write the question in your journal back page. Then write the best possible answer you can think of, based on your understanding and your study level. You’re not trying to be right or wrong, you’re just noting what your thoughts about the potential answer might be at this moment in your path. Now, when you review the question and answer, some time in your future, you’ll be able to appreciate how far you have come in your learning, how accurate or inaccurate your original thoughts were, or as was in my case, how naive the original answer was.

SAMPLE QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT LIKE TO LOG IN YOUR JOURNAL WITH YOUR ANSWERS

• How does time work in the spirit world?
• Is there a place called hell?
• What constitutes as evidence of a continuing life?
• How can the personality in spirit being speaking to two mediums or more at the same time?
• Where are our distant ancestors from 100 years ago now?
• Can mediums really allow a personality in spirit to use their voice?
• Why might being born with an enhanced gift help a medium?